Well, the title says it all: I'm going back to school. Although, technically it's not going back, since I officially never stopped. But it sure feels that way. It's been almost six years since I went from a full-time student with an internship and several jobs to someone who stayed at home with a burn-out. And from there one undiagnosed illness followed another, and another, and another. And here we are. Five years, nine months, and a couple of weeks later. And I'm well enough to become a full-time student with several jobs again.
That I reached this point feels a little bit like a miracle. It makes me happy. But I'm also terrified. What if it goes wrong again? What if I can't keep up with the workload? What if? What if? What if? But I've learned a long time ago that that's no way to live. So here I am. Scared. Broken. Excited. To go back to my old life with all the lessons I've learned since. About priorities, taking care of myself, things that make me happy.
Tomorrow is my first full day of classes. And for the foreseeable future, that's what my Wednesdays will look like. Either at university in person or at home through video calls. And the rest of the week, I will read books, work on assignments, write papers and my master thesis. And in between, I will document weddings and personal stories, write sermons, and spend a lot of time in my garden growing plants and enjoying the change of seasons. I can't wait to see what the next six to eight months will bring.
